Brianna Lee™

New journal
New journal
New journal
New journal
New journal
New journal
New journal

FINALLY. This journal is too old. & The username is lame.

So my birthday was awesome (September 18th)
I got a laptop :]
Finally.

My job is going great. The money situation is good. Im saving up for an apartment. I have health insurance. I have good benefits. Somethings missing. Oh yeah.. friends.
It seems like I've been so busy working, I never have time to see my friends. But wait.. they never have time for me either. Everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, or at least a significant other. Some people are away at college. I hate this. I feel like I have nobody here. Ever.

I guess you could say Im feeling kinda lonely. When im working Im fine. I can never be alone. But when Im not working, I find myself wondering if I ever have friends anymore. It's really sad. What has my social life come to? Nothing.

I have been really busy lately. Im working alot. But next week, I will have a set schedule as follows:
Sun: 9am-9pm
Mon: 2pm-10pm
Tues: 2pm-10pm
Wed: 12pm-10pm
Thurs: Im off
Fri: Im off
Sat: Im off

Im going to be making alot of money each week, which is awesome. I need it. I really need a new car. And eventually I want to move out and get an apartment with some friends or something. I really like my new job though. Granted, it can be kinda stressful and overwhelming.. but time flys by so fast, which is nice. Im pretty happy with things right now. The only bad thing is I had to take out my monroe ): But I will probably get it re-pierced and just put a retainer in it when im at work. Other than that, I love it so far. Everyone is so nice, caring, and supportive. It's a great environment to work in :]

Im finally getting my life together. I have a job. I have met alot of wonderful new people. I really think I will learn alot from my job. I just cannot explain how being around such positive, mature, and caring people can effect me. Im looking forward to learning, meeting more people, and enjoying it as much as I can.

I would love to get really deep into this, but my food has arrived. The Sampler from Pizzas by Evan = Amazing.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like a waste. I am. Why do I even bother being a good person, when people aren't even good to me?

I have some Jewelry/ Accessories that I don't want or need anymore..
So please buy some or all of it..
Im jobless, and I need the money.

I made most of this jewelry.. So if you're interested, please let me know if you want any of this stuff, nothing over $8!



( Pictures )

I finally went to club hell for the first time a few nights ago. It was fun, granted the music was kinda crappy. I really want to go to 80's night though. Randall and I want to go next Tuesday, if you're 18+ you should go with us! :]

So my health is getting better. Things are starting to look up. Im getting treated and whatnot. Im feeling so much better than I did about a week or two ago. I just want to go out and do things that I've been wanting to do for a while.

I went to an abandoned camp the other day, and it's pretty creepy. I wish it wasn't so hot out, otherwise I would have been exploring alot more. When it cools down a bit, I will be out exploring like its my job. I just wish I could find people to go with me. I have yet to find more exciting places on the cape. If there are any more.. that is.

I've been back in Massachusetts for about a week, and I am just now posting about my trip to Vermont. Haha. I had a good time, even though I didn't have anyone to hang out with. But it is really nice up there. Granted, theres not much in Vermont, but its nice, and the people are really down to earth.
( Pictures )

So the other day, I hung out with Kendra. We went to Taco Bell. And caused some ruckus.
( Sweet Mustache D00d )

I finally cleaned my room. And to those who have seen my room, you will be shocked at how clean it is. You can see the floor! and my desk isn't a total mess. I feel so much better now that I have cleaned my room. For some reason, whenever Im upset or something is on my mind, I clean.

Alot has been running through my head. Should I move? Should I wait? Should I quit my job? Should I find a new job? I don't know where to start. Im pretty much piss poor. Im not in a fantastic mood right now. Things just really suck right now. And the one person I wish I could see more of, is always busy. I hate it. I just wish everything would get better. I was happy, then it just died down. I don't know what to do with my life. I really don't want to go to college. I just want to have a part-time or a full-time job, live off cape, and spend my extra time with my friends. You can't always get what you want. But If I want something bad enough, I will try. I hate writing entries like this. I don't want to bring anyone else down with me.

Sunday night was amazing. I spent it with my dude, we watched tv and cuddled. I love spending time with him, because I am most happy around him. Even if he isn't paying attention to me ha.

Sunday morning I went to after-prom party. It was fun, I guess. It was nice to see some people I haven't seen in a long time. And it was funny seeing all the drama and 'shitfaced' kids getting in trouble. It made me feel so much better as a person. Im not in school anymore, Im not a drunk, and Im not a drama queen. I think I pretty much love life.

PS. ROFLZ

I love how things turn around, and get better before you know it. I love the feeling of being important. The feeling of affection is amazing. Life is like euphoric for me. At least it is now.

Im doing hell of a lot better than I was about a month ago. Forget the negatives in my life, and move onto the positives. Im happy. Im in a better mood. Things are great. True story.

Things are finally looking up for me. I am feeling better mentally & emotionally. Last night I hung out with someone for the first time(alone), and it felt like we have been friends for a long time. It was nice. It was kinda cute too. I can honestly say that I can be completely content just hanging out with someone somewhere. I don't need to be out doing something physically, to have fun. Just sitting around talking and laughing can be a good time too. Tonight I have to work 6pm til 2 in the morning. Major floorset. Moving everything around the store for 8 hours. I get excited about this, because I love change. It will be fun. Goofing around with my fellow employees and working, while no customers are around to bother us. Amazing. Haha. Im starting to realize life isn't about loss. It's about recieving the gift of friendship from someone that you get along with, and have common interests.

( 20 people I know.. )

I had a fabulous Christmas. I got a nikon 8400, 8.0 mega pixel digital camera. Im so stoked. I love it. I love life. I can't wait to graduate. I have 14 days left of school. Basically.. 2 weeks.. without counting finals.

So anyway. I had alot of fun last night. I went to New Bedford/Dartmouth/Fairhaven with (white) Adam and his brother. We dropped his brother off at some house.. then Adam and I went to the mall and then to Fort Tabor. Holy crap is that place creepy. I took a bunch of sweet pictures with my new camera, I will post them later. Im just leaving a quick update for now. Everything is great. Everything is going fabulous. Im one very happy and lucky girl (:

It is officially vacation for me. But I still have to work. So.. No school for a week or so. Awesome.

Yesterday was a good day. I had a good day in school, and I had a good time at work. I saw alot of people yesterday. Adam (white) visited me before I had to work, and then visited me during his break, and bought me a frappichino (: Then I saw Ashley, she came in with a bunch of her gym friends. And Juli that used to work at Wetseal, came in and said Hi to everyone. And as I was walking through Filenes, I saw Chrissy, and stopped to talk to her. So I had a good night, last night.

Things are going great. Although my holiday spirit is non-existent. I know I wasn't going to get much this year, because lack of money and work. But Im just excited for my new digital camera..if I even get it. I really hope I get the Canon that I wanted. All I really need/want..is money. Money for tattoos, gas, shoes, new car, etc.

Oooh. I can't wait to graduate! I need to figure out what Im going to do after I graduate. I know that I want to keep my job at Wetseal, because I love it there. Im thinking of moving somewhere else on cape for a bit. Just temporarily.. til I find out what Im going to do. I know I want to move off cape eventually.. towards the Boston area. So Im just kinda waiting til I graduate to see what I want to do. See how it is with no school, and just working two jobs. I will see.

I am veryveryvery happy right now. I have been so happy lately. I love my friends. I love my life. I love my family. Everything is awesome. Ah Im so happy. I want to be happy with someone right now. Someone be happy and have fun with me. I want to go on an adventure today..

Last night was pretty amazing. I had loads of fun. Running around in the snow in Kingston with Chris. Getting my pants soaking wet. Buying 'Christmas presents'.. but instead I bought 3 dvd's at Electronics Boutique(the videogame nerdy store) But today I bought my brother a gift certificate.

So today was fabulous. I worked tonight. I had fun. I love wetseal. I love my life. I love everyone I have in my life right now. Someone hang out with me this weekend. I want to be happy this weekend, because It's been so long since I have been happy, hanging out with people for a long amount of time. I want to go to Boston. Anyone else down? I am.

xo

Photos from yesterdays adventure..

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These are all from October 28th. I never posted them til now. Enjoy.


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As you might know, I was she_slaughters, but this is my new journal. Im starting out fresh.. once again. It's easier for me, because my lj username is my screenname. So if I was friends with you before, Add me on this username, or if you weren't & want to be friends, Add me. Thanks ♥